Wednesday, August 19, 2009

I've driven across deserts driven by the irony That only being shackled to the the road could ever I be free. (Update 224)

Artist - Frank Turner

Song - The Road

Album - Poetry Of The Deed

California Update PT. 1:

So last time I updated this was about three and a half weeks ago. Who knew that honestly so many things could actually happen. First and foremost, I'd like to say hello to every Pitchfork Media "writer" that loves to brow-beat themselves with my "tired, boring act". It gives me a warm and fuzzy feelings.

At last update, I was on my way out the door to California. Quite a bit actually happened in that time, from getting the proverbial shit kicked out of me for a couples art project. The art project is basically, from what I have gathered, a compilation of photographs taken for I believe a book to be called "Jack's Black Eye". In case you didn't catch the reference, it is indeed a reference to Chuck Palahniuk's novel (turned blockbuster hit movie starring Edward Norton and Brad Pitt) 'Fight Club'.

I think it's a pretty interesting project, and it'll be interesting to see how it turns out in the end.

The night we finally arrived in San Clemente, we went to a bar that is frequented by Marines called Goody's.

Everyone wants to paint Marines in the light of being confused adolescents who are trigger happy with no other guise in life outside of being from a poor background with little idea on how to exist, exactly, in this modern landscape of America. That they're nothing short of hair-trigger tempered individuals with a jock asshole mentality, and the truth is...I just don't see it that way. Very salt of the Earth, the majority of them, I'd say.

It was very interesting. We wound up making the acquaintance of two Marines who'd just returned that afternoon from where they were stationed, though for the life of me I can't remember their names or if they were stationed in Iraq or Afghanistan. I fail tremendously.

What I won't forget was how they were both cousins who, throughout their tenure from boot camp to being stationed, always somehow remained together, which is extremely unlikely.

One of the kids wore glasses, and he sat on the couch repeating over and over out loud, to no one in particular eventually, that he couldn't believe it. That it didn't seem real (being on a couch and not having to worry about the daily call of bullets flying and bombs falling). Eventually he wound up falling asleep, and this proved to be quite cumbersome for his cousin as he tried for well over an hour to wake him up.

A few days later we wound up back at Goody's, only to not really make it in time to actually go in. There were two drunk guys hanging outside of the bar who decided asking Velvet to drive them home was the smart and utterly responsible thing to do. But apparently driving them home didn't quite mean, "Can we sit in your car and you drive us safely to our abode" but rather, "Drive this white Scion box home, and then walk your asses back to...wherever. We don't care."

Initially, I don't believe either Velvet, Jeremy (whom also came up from Arizona for this splendid trip.) or I gave a care. It's Southern California. It's Orange County. It's never unpleasant there weather wise (As Lewis Black once said, "The easiest job on the planet has to be the weatherman for Southern California. 'Dave, what's the weather like today?' '...Nice. Back to you, Bob.' "), and I believe there was a plan for the three of us to walk for a bit anyway.

Eventually though I began to notice just how many blocks were passing behind us. Around this time, one of the drunkards asked Velvet to pull into a 7/11. She wound up going inside with him, leaving Jeremy and I with the much more intoxicated of the two. It was around this time I realized that this guy had intentions to make an honest woman out of one of the three of us (Velvet, Jeremy and I). He became increasingly annoyed while he was explaining his intentions, and wound up punching the back of my head rest. "Great", I thought, "He's going to make nipple cozies out of my uvula. Good. That's what I want to happen."

Soon after this realization, Velvet and the other drunk kid returned to vehicle. "I got you guys some Four Loko's. She said you guys would like them."

Now I've heard of a lot of alcoholic beverages in my day. I'm a scientist, it's my job. But Four Loko was something I'd never heard of. I later assumed it was a cousin to Dragon Juice. Basically they're related in that they are higher ranging concentrations of alcohol mixed with an energy drink. Whatever, it was free and it didn't taste so bad.

We wanted to take the drinks and run, but both of our humble hosts weren't having any of that. Turns out they grew a heavy conscience about our pending two mile walk. We get up there, and I proceed to drink this energy alcoholic drink as fast as possible. That was a uh...bad idea, honestly.

It was around this time when the drunker of the two decided it was time to finally reveal who the lucky lady would be. Turns out you actually need a physical vagina to qualify, which left Jeremy and somehow me out of the running. It was around this time Velvet informed him again (she'd been doing so all night) that she had a boyfriend. Apparently this was on no consequence. I decided to take a more direct approach.

"He's hung like a goddamned horse. I've seen it. It's kind of offensive, honestly." This was said in a completely sober context.

Soon enough we found ourselves walking two miles back to her car. Around a mile into the walk, the beverage hit my like a cannon to the chest, and I thought I was going to die. My heart literally was attempting to break down the walls of my chest, and escape. I laid on the ground wanting to run forever, but forcing myself to lay still until the cardiac riot in my chest calmed down.

That's all I've got for tonight. I need to go to sleep soon, I have class at 9:30 in the morning, but will be at the campus at about...7:40 am. YES.

I can't wait.

Also, Days Gone By will no longer be update daily. Several times a week, but not daily. I just can't keep up now with my new schedule. But hopefully it'll remain just as boring as always.

-Until tomorrow.