I feel like I'm trapped on an island at times with all this Day this, and Day that crap. Why don't I even get a damned Wilson of my own? For God sakes, I have the most viewed story on Bitter Press, I at least deserve a desecrated volleyball with a bloody hand print on it. For all inquires on where to send my sports ball/imaginary friend, email me at aaron.halewilliams@gmail.com. I'm serious. Get on it. I'm lonely as shit.
Wow, my mind went to a sad, and dark place just then. But thats okay, these pictures of an adorable fawn will salve my hurt. Go away pain, go away...
It's been dubbed the Jason Deer by Spazzy McCanadianspazz. Apparently, that cute deer baby was a cesarean cute deer baby because the mother was killed. Nothing that adorable should ever feel any sort of hurt in it's life. Why couldn't Jim Belushi suffer this injustice, besides...his...brother...dying. Whatever, he still sucks.
And apparently, breaking news...a nine year old has wrote a best selling book, nine year old...wrote a best selling book called..."How To Talk To Girls". Now what in the figgity, figgity fuck is this sheep shit? I'm 23, have touched a boob, and this little zygote gets more action? I want him to die alone in a gutter, and also wish for him to tutor me. Email me, Alec. Email me.
Stay away Chris Hansen, it's not what you think.
So I decided to start a few days of updates having a little theme. The theme for these next few days, as I might be preoccupied, will be 'Thing I have learned'.
Things I've learned:
-My dad knows every thing. Every thing about important things, like farming and cars.
-I still miss Phil Hartman and Chris Farley.
-Staying pissed, and proud of it. Motto to live by.
-Girls kill me. And I hatelove it.
-I don't ever want to own a bed.
-The prospect of getting paid for writing is more gratifying than not getting paid. Selling out is fun.
-I really don't like NOFX.
-I really don't like Jim Belushi. The wrong brother died.
-I really, really like Green Day. Really.
-I hate goddamned Laura Linney. I didn't know acting could be screaming and crying in every. single. movie.
-I'm glad I was born in Colorado Springs, Colorado and have lived virtually my whole life in Arizona. I wouldn't appreciate having the desire to always want something more if I hadn't, and I truly believe that.
-Gin and Cranberry juice is the greatest drink ever to be concocted. I would fight a war for it.
-Fake Problems are the coolest guys in a band I've ever gotten to know. Tom Gabel is rad as shit, and #2 from Anti Flag is kind of a doucher. Tim McIlrath is the nicest man on earth.
-Christopher Gutierrez might be a cool guy in person, but I really, really got rubbed the wrong way by him. He's the reason why I can't stand 'straight edge' as a declaration, or writers as a whole.
-If you're not driving this, are this man, or take pictures like this and this, you probably shouldn't be conceited.
-Ben Templesmith is amazing. And highly underrated.
-I hate shaving.
Thats all for now. I really should be cleaning, but I have an obligation to all three of you who read this thing. Also, to the kid in Romania, please email me at the email address above about the Menzingers. I didn't mean to act like I was blowing you off, I'm just not sure how you sent it to that email thats no longer active.
-Until tomorrow.
2 comments:
i really like chris gutierrez but i agree with what you said. luckily, he doesnt really mention in his books which is always a plus. his memoirs were definitely a stellar read. i, for one, sometimes find what he writes on his blog really contrived but i think i let it slide because of the insane amount of passion the dude has. he's definitely shed the image of 'hey look whos coattails im riding on! oh did i drop a name?'
you deserve to have the most read story, shootin' at a mound of dirt is fucking fantastic man. ive read it and passed it on more times than i can remember.
i had a little flick through that kids book in borders (i think) and its (im probably being really obvious here) it looks like the only reason its done so well is because of the 'cuteness' factor of it. its got some funny bit in it though.
i am so looking forward to a new green day record its insane. the premise looks fucking awesome.
take it easy man.
i like it when you shave. i like being conceited. now stop complaining about girls. :-)
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