We're missing notes, but whos looking? (Day 64)

Today's update is brought to you by the deliciously gay comedy styling's of Aaron Hale. Sit back, and enjoy the ride, baby. Because where we're going, we don't need maps or roads. Hear the engine hum, the radio sing and watch the road disappear slowly behind you, and wait patiently in front of you at the end of every rotation of the piston.

There is no need for caution, just enjoy the world blur behind you, the world rotate at thousands of miles per hour. Close your eyes and welcome the sun, because one day it's going to be dark and all you have left is the memory of when your skins pixels turned darker, and for a moment you felt a delicious warmth that despite humans best efforts, can not be replicated or replaced in the slightest by radiators, heaters or lamps. It's time to stop thinking, and make a move.

"Just do it."

Today was an interesting day, in many facets. I almost forgot to not only update Days Gone By (thank you for tuning in, my love. I won't ever leave you in the lurch again) but I also almost forgot to take my medication.

I'm actually surprised I haven't forgotten to take it yet. Sometimes things like that just slip my mind. The problem with not taking the medication is that you can miss a day or two, and thats fine. But while it takes fourteen days to enter your system, and allow you to build up your tolerance for it, it takes five days to leave your system. After that you have to go through the whole process of building the tolerance up once again, meaning I'd go from 200mg's (which I think is really high...talk about a self-esteem killer. I didn't think I was that crazy and imbalanced) back to having to take 25mg's, then 50, then 100.

The best I can equate this process too is, well...sex,

Not just regular sex, though, mind you. It's that crazy, wild drunken sex you have with a girl you've been with for a while, where you had to build yourself up to not only smack her ass, or ask for the ball-gag, but also to last more than fourteen minutes.

So finally you're up to full on hair pulling, ass smacking, name calling, punch throwing, hand cuff and ball gagging sex. Unfortunately in all this ass smacking, name calling debauchery...you forgot to safe sex it up one too many times.

Now that lady in the street, but a freak in sheets has a paunch growing. The wild sex is now on the shelf for nine months, and after that cock-block spawn is birthed, you put the sex on hold altogether for two more months. You might never again reach that dosage of freaky ball gag, safety word sex because you got away with it one, two, three times...but irony being a cruel bitch mistress, it pimp slaps you on that fourth time, just when you started think you were total money.

Thats what I've got going on with this medication. I can even compare it to a different type of sex (told you I had different theories, Velvet). Say you run down the cast and crew of bar cozies, and eventually you catch the old menacing herp-dog.

You wind up looking like this:



And thats not herp-dog. Thats Stevens-Johnson Syndrome, a horrible and deadly side effect of Lamictal poisoning. So I gotta make sure I'm on top of that. Because it looks almost exactly like a herpes outbreak. I have a hard time not terrifying girls as is, I don't need the stunt double for herpes keeping me company.

Now, it's not every day I get zinged. Even less likely is that I'm zinged so bad I not only have no response or follow-up, but am left embarrassed and stunned for thirty minutes. In fact, it's never happened. Ever.

While being called 'gay' (ain't no shame in being gay, by the way. I'm not, but I want it known that the Show Stopper is a friend to the community) by a girl (I'd rather have embers shoved under my tongue) I replied with, "Gay? I'll show you gay" while proceeding to do a very effeminate impression. However, this only prompted further hetero-gay-bashing against me, the Main Event. I finally retorted with, what I thought would be the end all. "I'd show you gay, but I don't see a penis anywhere near-by" and without skipping a beat, the heinous girl known as Joli replied, "You don't? That sucks for you." Implying I, Dudley Shale, had no male reproductive organ to call my own.

I'm not exactly the most endowed, and that shattered my already ice-thin ego.

May all her days be filled with unfulfilled dreams and hopes, only missing them by a cuticles length.

I'm dipping out on that note, but before I go...on our way back home from Chandler (yay comic books! Fill the pain, animated cells...fill the pain) we got stuck in a traffic jam I've never seen in my life. For God's sake, I live in a cow-tipping town, this should not have happened. It took thirty minutes to go two miles. After weighing the options of laying under the eighteen-wheeler to our left (this was on an interstate. Interstate means fast. We went 3 miles an hour) and realizing that it'd take forty minutes for the eighteen-wheeler to mercy crush me, I decided to just hate life comfortably in the car while screaming the words along to Fugazi's "Waiting Room".

What made it even worse was that this week I'd discovered that, and pay attention science nerds...Scientists have made it possible, and succeeded, with TELEPORTATION. As in, hey I was in my bathroom and now I'm in the girls locker room,. and now I'm in Paris, and I didn't move a muscle. MY PARTICLES MOVED FROM HITHER TO HITHER. IT TOOK SECONDS.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/3811785.stm

Teleportation was a concept nerds made for our secret world of science fiction (the chicks in our movies have really big boobs, too) and we believed in it so much, we done made that possible. It may only be light particles, but we also created a black hole recently, we're teleporting...up next, Magic: The Gathering and Dungeons and Dragons will no longer be shunned, as they will exist. Break my glasses will you, Star Quarterback...you've just sustained 8HP damage and oh, look...no mage to heal you. Enjoy working in a Jersey auto shop until you die angry of liver cirrhosis at the age of 49, Jared. Enjoy it, for I've gained 20EXP and now I'm president of Boobtoucher town; Population: me. No ugly chicks.

-Until tomorrow.