You said, "Do you believe what you're sayin'?" Yeah right now, but not that often. (Day 85)

One of the annoying things with this whole process is the doctors themselves.

As of today, i would have run out of my medication, and as i recently learned...for the time being, i really don't need to be with out it. So I began to check around my wallet for when my next appointment was, or if I'd missed something. Well, actually I did this three days ago.

I knew the last time I had went to the doctor I was scheduled a follow up visit 30 days later. Fine, I can deal with that. Just sling me some pills, and I can be on my Mary Poppins way.

I had a follow up appointment card somewhere, but for the life of me I just cannot remember where I had placed it, and I really didn't want to wind up flaking on an appointment, so I wound up calling them up. I, at this point had three days worth of medication left.

Come to find out, there was no follow up appointment made.

I've had more than my fair share of issues with not only this doctor, but the whole facility entirely. I don't lose my cool that often, but this was definitely one of those times where I wasn't feeling like being an understanding individual. This is my health, and right now I'm just trying to get my life back, basically.

The closest appointment they could give me was two weeks away, unless somehow I could have made it into the office withing half an hour. As I've found out before, if you're five minutes late, you're up the creek. So no, there was no possible way.

I had to settle for two weeks of waiting. Honestly, that's whatever, that's fine. But the problem is, with only three pills, and the memory of what happens when I go off them so freshly embedded in my mind, I kind of panicked. I wound up having to practically beg the woman to prescribe me a refill.

It's always a fucking hoop to jump through with bureaucracy. I hate nothing more than bureaucracy. See, heres the catch with this medication and why seeing a doctor is so fucking "important":

In order for me to get a refill, she has to see me monthly. If I don't go in, I'm boned so hard.

It should not be this way. This facility has been nothing, and I mean nothing but a burden to me. After I was prescribed the lamictal, I began doing just peachy on my own.

So lets just cut out the middle man. I know people have to make those green backs, but you know what? Not at my expense.

(Side note: I just now went to scratch my forehead and wound up jamming my finger into my left eye. Shades of something that happened a few Friday's ago, eh Velvet?)

But there doesn't need to be a middle man here. Write my prescription, or call it in, and don't worry about me. I'll figure something else out. Alcohol has always been trustworthy.

Something has to happen to the state of mental health and it's treatments in this country, and most likely world wide. Lord knows we don't need too many people like me roaming these streets, frothing at the mouth and not being medicated. Health care, as a whole, is one of the saddest excuses for a template of modern humanity I've ever seen. too much bureaucracy, too much pussy-footing, and too many people with no idea what affliction truly is having way too much of a decision in other peoples lives.

Money is important, and theres no getting around that whatsoever. On many levels, whether it be a validation for all the hard work one's put into their lives, or to help sustain life as a whole. it's an equal value bartering system, and it's a lot easier to manager besides trading a daughter and couple goats for some milk cows and plow horses, but it will never be more important than the human condition. I don't necessarily believe it's never not more important than some human lives (murderes, child touchers, rapists), but in general it isn't ever more important than the human condition or suffering.

It's time to subtract that out of the equation, and introduce compassion back into the big picture when it comes to treating people.



-Until tomorrow.