I've been writing, and writing and pushing myself to keep creating. Whether or not it's good, well that's subjective. But the thing I do know is this: One day those flood gates will open, and every moment I was too broke to actually afford a new pair of pants will be a memory I can't wait to observe in reverence, and work hard to make sure it never happens again.
As far as this creative...whathefuckever, I know right now is, in some instances the best time I'll ever have with it. But I know I'm so far from peaking.
But it feels like it's around the corner.
It has to be, I just know that much.
So, in a way, I've started my own "hunger strike" issue.
For those who don't know, I've got a very...out of control beard. And it will remain on my face until I have a printed copy from a publisher, my work in hand on a store shelf. It initially started out because I nearly gave up on it all. But...instead, I'm keeping this untamed, untrimmed, until I can hold and lick a book that's mine. When that happens, I'm throwing a party, and I'm shaving once more.
I need an agent. First and foremost this week.
It feels so good to have this hunger and drive. I hope to God no matter what happens, be it negative and I lose it all, or positive and achieve all my dreams, that I never lose this hunger to keep pushing.
-Until tomorrow.
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