Turn mama's radio as loud as loud can be. (Day 149)

I've been writing, and writing and pushing myself to keep creating. Whether or not it's good, well that's subjective. But the thing I do know is this: One day those flood gates will open, and every moment I was too broke to actually afford a new pair of pants will be a memory I can't wait to observe in reverence, and work hard to make sure it never happens again.

As far as this creative...whathefuckever, I know right now is, in some instances the best time I'll ever have with it. But I know I'm so far from peaking.

But it feels like it's around the corner.

It has to be, I just know that much.

So, in a way, I've started my own "hunger strike" issue.

For those who don't know, I've got a very...out of control beard. And it will remain on my face until I have a printed copy from a publisher, my work in hand on a store shelf. It initially started out because I nearly gave up on it all. But...instead, I'm keeping this untamed, untrimmed, until I can hold and lick a book that's mine. When that happens, I'm throwing a party, and I'm shaving once more.

I need an agent. First and foremost this week.

It feels so good to have this hunger and drive. I hope to God no matter what happens, be it negative and I lose it all, or positive and achieve all my dreams, that I never lose this hunger to keep pushing.

-Until tomorrow.