Even when I was close to defeat I rose to my feet. (Day 45)

I began my 200mg's of Lamictal today. But big whoops.

The Cardinals won the NFC Championship. Now I've caught a lot of flock for picking them as the team to beat this year, and right now I get to say, "I told you so."

Every drought has to come to an end, and even if the Cardinals lose on Feb. 1st, thats fine by me because they made it to a level no one wanted to believe in, continually discounted, wrote off, and called "the worst playoff team in history".

This past weekend was awesome. I got to catch up with a few people I haven't gotten to see in years. Last night we had a pretty big, I guess you'd call it bonfire going, and plenty of booze to warm up the extremities not warmed by the fire. I'm still dealing with the food poisoning a little bit, but thats to be expected. I'm just stoked I can finally eat solid foods again.

It was nice though, to get away for a few days. Every time I come back from an extended stay in the Valley, I feel really bad. I don't like living this far away from some of my closer friends, and I'd like to remedy that, but at the moment I'm not sure I'm in the right position to do so.

In fact, I'm sure I'm not.

I'm very fortunate to know a lot of people around the globe, and that feels strange for me to say. But the problem is, I want to spend time with each of them, and I have no idea how to go about that, minus selling a kidney and a lung. Too bad I need my kidney for drinking, and lung for breathing...otherwise, well I'd be on a plane to Maryland right about now.

I have no idea where I physically want to end up. I just know it isn't here, and as much as I've come to love Arizona I can't fathom living my entire life here, much less in this area. It scares the shit out of me to think I may one day wind up in the local mortuary...that'd be the biggest defeat I could ever think of.

Sometime I wonder if I should just spin a globe, and point a finger and where it lands is where I land. Or maybe throw a dart, because it's such a toss up.

The thing I'd miss most about Arizona, I think, would be the weather.

We might sweat four months out of the year during ungodly heat, but the other eight months are perfect climate. We don't have snow, we don't get earthquakes really, or hurricanes, tornado's or anything like that. Some hot temperatures and...then it's all good. It isn't muggy really...just nice.

And I feel like anywhere else I live I become subject to floods or waves of destruction I can't wrap my mind around because we Arizonians live the easy life weather-wise. Plus, it doesn't snow.

It's winter right now, and we spent most of the evening outside in light jackets comfortably. Besides the southwest/west...who else is enjoying that kind of weather?

But theres gonna come a time when we all have a better place to go, or else why are we living?

Until tomorrow.