Feeling surrounded, so bored with mortality, I decay. All of this hatred is fucking real. (Day 118)

I went and saw I Love You, Man for the second time. I had some great company, and it was a lot of fun. After that I came home and kind of sat around and thought about some things that have been going on.

It's been a while since I actually stopped to do that. It's strange, I expected with these medications...that racing feeling I get every time I start to feel manic would become something of the past. But they haven't, and I'm pretty happy with that actually. I feel like I can actually put them to use in a positive way now.

Shit, I wrote a book in a week. That's pretty damned impressive, I think, as far as volume and time are concerned. As far as quality, I have no clue. But I'm pretty happy with it.

I'm working on this new book now called A Positive Rage. It's about a singer in a band, and his life on the road and stuff like that. I can't recall any type of work of fiction with the same idea, which I'm stoked on, and I think the entire message will be great.

It touches on the struggles of coming home and readjusting to life, paying bills in the interim between albums, starting families and stuff like that. The main character starts off kind of like a cocky asshole, but not someone I don't think anyone would actually hate. In a charming way, almost. So I'm pretty excited about it. One of my favorite lines so far is from one of their "songs" which goes, "close your eyes and raise your palms/you're singing the words like you wrote the song."

I don't know. It's just a little different experiment. It's all experimenting. Maybe one day I'll write some schticky book like a Twilight or Harry Potter and then have golden swimming trucks and go swimming in a pile of adolescents money. Per chance to dream.

I ran into a pal today who asked why I seemed so different. He hasn't seen me since I started taking the anti depressants. I couldn't really answer it, but he definitely seem pretty stuck on it, and continuously kept asking what was up. "Did you get laid?" "Did you win the lottery?" and I really couldn't quite answer him.

He and his girlfriend went on to come over earlier tonight. Unfortunately he's run into a hard road block: See, his girlfriend is really quiet, which usually kind of bothers me. But she seems pretty cool, you can tell she's really nice and sweet, and knowing this kid like I do, she's been nothing but the greatest thing that's ever happened to him. A few months ago, they began dating. I'm not one to pry, nor certainly am I not one to ever really pass this kind of judgment because (I'm three years older than him, not much but still relevant) when I was his age I was doing the exact same thing.

He's 20 right now, and his girlfriend is a few months shy of 18. Whatever, it happens. It's consensual, they both very obviously care about each other, and she's a very responsible person from what I can tell. That being said, I don't know the story but I'm sure it wasn't the best of situations for her to begin with, but when they started dating X amount of months ago, she packed up her shit and moved out of her parents house. From what I can tell that situation at her home doesn't seem like it's exactly healthy. During the course of over half a year, her parents haven't once made an ounce of an effort to coerce her into coming back home so I don't think they care all that much about her, honestly. That's fine, she's in a better arrangement, she's got a job and she's prepping for school. C'est la vie, see ya next Tuesday.

However, recently she ran into health issues. For the first time they reached out to her parents for some kind of health, because the situation did seem pretty serious. Her family not only denied her any kind of assistance, they decided her six month plus vacation has run it's course. Instead of helping their daughter in a pretty serious situation, they not only said no, they decided to file her as a runaway. This puts a lot of people in a very hard position, and it sucks because it can actually ruin lives. They decided to get the cops involved, which I know they have the right to do as parents, but not when they didn't give a shit for half a year and some change. Not only does this put so many people in a hard place, it meant that she couldn't get medical care here in America, period. CPS would have gotten involved. They had to go to Mexico, and in the end my friend actually had to assist in the actual procedure itself.

Think about that for a second.

The light at the end of the tunnel is that in four months she turns 18, and this is no longer an issue. Unfortunately, for those 120 days they have to continuously look over their shoulders and pray Johnny Law doesn't come beating down their doors.

I've never seen this guy so torn up about something, and truthfully...I don't care for anyone's opinions on their age. It happens, their being safe, and they are both fairly intelligent beings; it really isn't hurting anyone. They get each other, and knowing my friends...he doesn't really relate to well with girls all that often, so as far as I can tell...she's pretty unique in a lot of senses.

I just hope for the time being things work out for them. I wish there was something I could say or suggest. I've spent a fair amount of my life skirting around the law, and I know how to survive on my own, but I couldn't ever fathom having to carry someone I loved that deeply past the muck and mire. I've had it hard enough getting away alone, I'd hate to have that added knowledge of knowing it isn't about existence and survival for me; It's protection for them.

I know the process of emancipation is always something on the table. I can tell just by looking at her that there is something not right about where it is that she comes from. I get that, I've seen it happen a lot in my life, and she wears that around her neck like a bullseye. In any other situation, a less obviously detrimental situation to her, I'd just suggest she just go home and wait out the four months. But here, emancipation is practically a moot point at this time because A) if they do apply for the process, etc, not only do they blow up their spot. They leave themselves vulnerable to being caught, and B) As long as the process takes, and leaving themselves that vulnerable for that long, she'll actually turn 18 by the time everything is taken care of.

It's a shitty spot to be. I really do wish them the best of luck. If I can help, I want them to know I'm there for them. No questions asked. Fuck it, we need to go down Mexico way for a few days? Let's get fucking going, we're burning daylight.

-Until tomorrow.