I gave everything to you, it didn't do anything for me. (Day 166)

Today's lyric comes from Manchester Orchestra's amazing song, "I've Got Friends". It's off of their latest release, Mean Everything to Nothing. This honestly is that band you should be checking out. You know the term wall of sound? They obliterate that concept completely. At times they dull you into this false sense for how the song will go, and then they just explode into this rock fury. I really hope you enjoy it, please check it out. Oh, and this song deserves to go to ten. Turn it loud as loud can be.



The other night I had the push I needed to have. After three years of blaming myself for something, how poorly a relationship ended, I got the closure I needed. I no longer bare the weight of feeling so useless and worthless.

I heard she's flunking out of ASU, though. And that bums me out. She had a lot going for her, and she's merely settling for a misguided concept of happiness.

You ever get that wake up call? I got mine loud and clear at 3:34am.

Sometimes you have to be willing to accept those charges.

But it took me three years for this, and now I feel like it was worth the wait. I think the next step in personal evolution is to take all I've learned, and to not just willingly always accept that I'm the bad guy right away.

I've got friends in all the right places, and at the strangest times they give you the boost you never even knew you needed. I guess it just takes some time to let anything of substance really set up roots and blossom in your life. Despite how hard things can get, it's the sucker punch from lady luck that's gonna get you through a long night and a shit day.

So to them, man, thanks. I don't wanna ask for help, but sometimes it just happens. It's like working on a crossword puzzle, and giving up on a word, and then later on looking back at those boxes and it randomly dawning on you while you're trying to figure out 15 across, 9 letters for an eternal wait.

I think it's so eerie, though. A few days ago I talked about this, and wanting closure, and then randomly getting it from someone who hadn't even seen the update...I don't know.

It's the exorcism of a ghost that's been living with me so long, I thought it was just another appendage.


-Until tomorrow.