I'm thinking about the only road, the one I've never known, and where it goes. (Day 209)

Artist - Green Day

Song - Macy's Day Parade

Album - Warning.






Sorry about not posting yesterday. Big thanks to the Emperor, Jonathan. He really stepped up to the plate, and that was awesome of him.

My keyboard decided that I no longer needed to be able to use the 'A' 'S' and 'D' keys anymore. I'm glad it chose the most important buttons, instead of 'X' 'Z' and ':'. Really excited about that.

But now I have a new keyboard that I'm really ecstatic to have, because the other keyboard was from the 80's, and every time you pushed a key, no matter how lightly it sounded like a gunshot. It's death will not be mourned, rather it will be celebrated.

I've been obsessed with the show Dexter, and Dead Like Me lately. I've been feeling kind of depressed the past few days, and even though I know it's pretty dumb, I've been considering dropping my medications all together. I looked at all the pills I have to take on a day to day basis, and there's just so many.

It's weird to think that so many capsules are what control my day to day life. I wonder how much of myself actually still exists, and how much of it is just the medication talking. I always feel tired, but I can never sleep. I feel hungry but I can't eat. On some days my temper is sporadic, and I hate that completely because I'm usually such a patient and reserved person...but now I just don't know.

I know I said I was going to post a chapter of the book, and I will, but that will have to wait until tomorrow afternoon. Because of the keyboard scenario I just procured a used one from a great friend. Plus, I'm just too exhausted to do anything in that realm.

Maybe it's time I saw a counselor. I just really don't feel comfortable doing that. What would I say, and what would they tell me that I don't already know? Who knows.

-Until tomorrow.