Dear Neighbors to the North: This is your fault. You might be jealous of us, but thats no reason to freeze us out. It's cold here because you left the door open.
Please close it.
Thank you.
-Aaron Hale, Days Gone By/Piss And Vinegar/ Rac...oh, wait. Nevermind that last part.
Okay, this wasn't really all that early. In my defense I was out watching the new Brad Pitt movie: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. I highly suggest checking it out, especially if you've read the short story by F. Scott Fitzgerald (The Great Gatsby) They tie in Hurricane Katrina, which I'm not sure how I feel about yet, but overall it's a really good movie.
I've noticed a slight bit of a shift so far with the Lamictals. My moods tend to be staying a lot longer. For instance, if I were feeling bad about something or just generally depressed it never really dips much lower or bounced between elation back to depression as it usually does. I've been able to focus a lot more, and I kind of like that. I usually have a lot of big ideas and plans, but I just lose steam on them due to either just general apathy, or getting distracted by shiny things.
This year a lot of things have switched on their heads. And while a staggering amount of things that've happened have been leaning towards a more negative aspect; it just makes the positives stand out all the more.
I lost a lot of people who were close to me this year. My good friend Leory Van Verth for instance. Up until that point, I'd always know that humanity could be such a dark place, but I'd never witnessed it first hand and I lost so much faith. Not only in humanity as a whole, but myself as well.
I almost lost my Father to cancer. And as much faith as I lost in myself, and I realized that humans are in fact capable of so much more than just sucumbing to something with so many overwhelming odds against you.
A lot of relationships went down by the wayside. Some I'm sorry to've seen go (to an extent) and others...not so much.
There was a girl who I'd known for years. And in knowing her, I'd believed so much in her until the day came when things became soured.
I'd like to say I can fall back on fond memories of our friendship but...I just can't Certain people put you through Hell, bring you back and take you there again. But I loved her, too, dearly. Unquestionably, and while it hurt to cut ties intially...it was for the best.
If she comes across this...I hope she's found what she was looking for. Wherever that may be. But there hasn't been a moment where I didn't feel where this fallout wasn't for the best.
But this isn't about all the shitty things that happened this year.
I've had support from a lot of great people. While it's been a difficult road this year, the support from them has been so amazing. And staggering. I've never had support like this before, and truthfully, it's made me feel very awkward throughout it all.
But one person in particular has been there for me in so many ways, and she probably doesn't even realize it.
Her name is Velvet. Her blog is constantly linked on here, not because of our friendship, but because she has a talent and way about her that I feel the entire world is missing out on right now. (Her father Curt is also an amazing photographer).
While we'd talked online a few times and have a few mutual friends, I'd never met her face to face until earlier this year.
She's intelligent, funny, brave and beautiful. She's triumphed over adversity this year that would bring most people to their knees.
It's amazing how inspirational she truly is, and I'm lucky to know her. I can honestly say that without her in my corner this year, I'm not sure I would have been able to keep my head up.
I've known a lot of girls, and I can honestly say that while there might be other fish in the sea. The only problem is...most of those fish are exactly the same. But as soon as you come across something enigmatic like a Basslet, you just can't toss it back and expect another to fall into your net.
In a crowd of similarities, and just plain Jane dull, she stands apart. You see it with her photos, with the way she writes, with her personality.
I want the best for her. I drive her insane on a consistent basis, and I truly know she deserves to not have to put up with the steamboat of piping hot crazy that is me.
Thank you, Velvet. And thank you Velvet's dad for having such an awesome daughter. She's truly one of a kind. I say that sincerally.
The following photo was taken by Velvet's father, Curt. It's really a tremendous photo. He's got a portfolio that would knock you on your ass, so really why don't you go an just check out his Flickr (as linked above for your convinence!) but this is one of my favorites. There isn't anything that doesn't just leap off the page with this picture, and everytime I look at it I find something new and amazing about it.
The second photograph is done by Velvet. It's the current background on my other computer, and it ranks up there as one of my all time favorite pictures because while the SF Golden Gate Bridge has been photographed countless times, I don't think it's ever been shown in this light.
What I love about it is that it's almost the footnote in this picture, choosing to focus more on the rusted fence. I think it's a perfect symbol of technology. Everything can look new and strong, but eventually mother nature has the final say.
Make sure to go check out her blog and comment her pictures frequently. She's very deserving of it.
On a side note, earlier tonight a friend and I (before watching the Curious Case of Benjamin Button) were driving to get me some food. I failed to mention how awesome it was that she got me Season One of Scrubs on divid for Christmas after I sung JJ Beet's praises (rightfully so!) As she brought this up, she stopped paying attention to the road (which isn't uncommon for her to do in the least) and lost control of her vehicle just enough to switch lanes without even realizing it. After I realized it wasn't an intentional lane-change (and the subsequent death-bed repetence) she said, "BOO YAH, PUT THAT IN YOUR BLOG!"
People like this are a hazard to society when behind the wheel. I sanction myself being a passenger with her because a) I finally have health insurance, and b) her favorite (and everyone else's, apparently) new joke about me is to joke about my mental health. I'm crazy, I don't know any better.
That's all I've got for tonight. If the owners of the two pictures posted here would like their works taken down, please feel free to let me know and I apologize in advance if it bothers you. It'd bother me. I suck.
Until tomorrow!
4 comments:
....SURE, BLAME Canada, asshole! I swear to god, if you keep badmouthing us, you'll get shot if you ever step foot in my beautiful land! And then I'll be pissed because like I said, not only is it illegal for you to die, but Christ, you're going to have to visit me up here at some point. This is a relationship of compromise, baybee.
God, I'll be drinking the fuck out off this new year. I figure entering the new year sober hasn't done me any good these last few years, especially this year.
And it figures as I'm typing this, Mr. Mackaye is singing softly into my ear "it's the end of a fucked up year, there's another one coming."
go figure.
I'm just glad you have someone who's able to talk some sense into you. Next time i'll threaten not to have sex with you or something. That'll teach ya to make me all worried, jerk!
Hey there, thanks for the kind words... you make me feel like I did a decent job of being a father - that's a very kind thing to hear...
I appreciate you being her friend.
You compared me to a fish that changes its gender. Um. Is this some sort of tranny fetish admission on your part?? Hahaha.
Kidding. But I had to point that out.
Thank you for this blog. Thank you for being you. Crazy or not, you rule. :-)
I couldn't agree with you more about your comments on Velvet on Curt. I'm in awe of both their abilities as photographers and you definitely chose some greats as favorites. I'm really amazed by Curt's wildlife photography, especially of birds of prey in their nest. Not an easy thing to capture. We've both been blessed by Velvet's presence in our lives, and I'm sure it will be a lasting one.
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