Although she saw the mark, the arrow missed. (Day 38)

Today might as well be considered a brand new 'Day 1'.

Today I started taking 100mg's of the Lamictal. Each time I go another step with this medication, it doubles. To be quite honest I definitely noticed the change from 50 to 100 about an hour later.

I'm surprised I've stuck with it long, and what surprises me further is the simple fact that I've actually stuck it out, and have a generally positive view for the medication. This truly is one of the better decisions I've made.

Decisions are weird things sometimes. I mean really, analyze a decision you've made. Weight it towards what could have happened, and what really did. Take apart the variables and really inspect how if that one tiny decision you made along the way had such a domino effect. Damn the Devil living in the details.

Today I helped a friend of my mothers load some groceries we were holding for her into the back of her car. Her husband I guess is a bit of a drinker, but this lady I truly feel drove him to the bottle.

We'd been holding her groceries for her because she was in Phoenix (which is quite a distance from where I live) to give her husband a ride to quickly say hello to a friend of his.

What got me was how she basically just shat all over the guy while he wasn't around. I guess he stayed too long inside the house, so she drove back to Arizona City without telling him and leaving him without a ride back home. She said, "he can walk for all I care." Wonderful lady. Also, the guy is disabled...so I mean, she's just a saint.

While I was loading her car, she pointed out a cracked rear-view light he'd I guess damaged. She wound up getting completely unglued, calling him 'irresponsible', a 'drunk', 'dip-shit', 'imbecile', 'moron', and waste of life that was 'beyond help'.

I understand frustration, and I know that the cracked light isn't exactly a nice thing to discover on a new car. I also know that mistakes happen, and that the cracked light may just be her newest thing to bitch about but when people I know share their grievances about their significant others most of the time you can see that part of the reason they are upset is because they genuinely care about that person. But from her, I got a sense of a very, very palpable hatred for the guy.

I've never met him, and this was the first time I'd ever met this lady but her, who she is really is what I feel is wrong with marriages and relationships. I really dislike this type of woman because instead of being an adult and discussing the problems like a responsible human being, she'd rather go around and make goddamned sure everyone in ear shot knows this guy is a pile of shit.

I'm a firm believer that if you are going to be with someone and you truly, truly love them then you have to accept the whole package. Good, bad and ugly.

If you don't want to be with someone, then just go. It isn't fair to either person. But this lady really...I mean, I don't want to come off as sexist or misogynist but I really feel that this is something a lot of women do these days, and it drives me up the fucking wall.

You want to love a guy, then love him, but you don't need to shit on his parade every step of the way. You can't change a person, that has to be a desire already in them and maybe you can inspire that. But it kills me that there are so many women that just come down so often and so hard on the men in their lives for cracking a beer here and there, or making a simple goddamned mistake.

If you ever wonder why chivalry is dead, it's because women like this have driven men to look forward to the part in the nuptials that say "til death do us part".

To think they made a decision to get married and be miserable. The thing about this is...it honestly makes people around you miserable too. I'm betting this guy is a pretty decent dude who's been aged horrible by his squawking yenta of a wife.

I'll be getting into this more in the next few days.

Until tomorrow.