Todays guest update comes from a good friend of mine named Joli. She's a very sweet, smart and funny girl and I really think it'd be an interesting contrast from the dick that is me.
Theres truly never a dull moment when she's around. On countless times she's endangered my life, mocked my masculinity, tried to push me around while playing basketball, insulted me and demanded I place something quirky she does in this blog.
So, I decided I'd let her just have her chance to do a full update, since she thinks she runs the place.
Enjoy!
-Aaron Hale
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Hi there! Jolí here (yes, its pronounced like Angelina, but without the reputation!) and go easy on me because this is my first blog. I feel almost privileged to be able to be a guest writer though, considering all the things I’ve ever written have never seen the light of day. I guess there’s always a first for everything.
While I’m not literally praying for the end of time, although sometimes I wonder what’s taking it so long), I’m just asking for the end of situations in my life. I could do the emotionally girl thing and get all weepy while pouring out the discontent my heart feels, but I’ll save that for a later date… I just wish sometimes that I could get into the mind of people. Find out why they think they way they do, say the things they say, and act they way they act. Do they realize that yes sometime the things they do really actually affect someone else.
Is it so strange to assume that fact that other people really do have feelings and don’t necessarily enjoy getting them stomped on for the sake of someone else protecting themselves? I’m not just asking rhetorically; I really would like more information in this area. Its not fair for someone to get his or her gratification from another person, having the other person’s get his or her hopes so high only to be cast aside or put on the shelf when the feelings have been satisfied. It really does a number on one’s self esteem. Honestly, when a person claims to care about you, but treats you like garbage it makes you think when did I end up being the bad guy in all of this? You can only take so much until you start to feel like it may not even be worth any of it, if that’s all you end up with.
Some people may have a thing for emotional roller coasters, but if you’re on one too many you could throw up from getting so freaking dizzy. Sometimes you close your eyes and wish you never got on the ride to begin with. Now you’re strapped in, but you’re not the one behind the controls. So you just try to pray for the end of time to get you through and off of the ride. Whoops, here I said I wouldn’t get all girly and what did I do? Oh well. At least I know someone out there can relate to me. I’m just speaking truth and if that’s too much for some people than I suggest you stop living under a rock.
But anyways, it’s good to know that you can always have at least one good friend or a great sister you can actually count on when you get the butt end of the deals. Its nice to take the stress of to have someone like them around. Nice to call them up and have a carefree kind of time to just hang out and do nothing, but make it still worth while. In then end, it all comes down to a choice you have to make. Rip your heart out, or rip out someone else’s? Sometimes the hardest thing and the right are the same, and sometimes that’s all just a load of freaking crock! So what about me? When I figure it out I’ll let you know…
-Until tomorrow
Little, Big
3 months ago
4 comments:
In my opinion, the problem with the pieces of shit you're talking about is that they're not thinking at all and/or are just inconsiderate of other people. The inconsideration is not “not caring,” but is actually not even thinking about the issue at all. In other words, it's not that they don't care, but it's that it never even occurs to them to care.
Think of someone sitting in front of a screen. Yeah, they’re oblivious.
Their brain just doesn't trigger that awareness alarm. There is no empathy. Barely a consciousness. This is less than acquiescence. It's just an absence of thought.
At least when it comes to thinking about other people.
So any analysis by you of them or their thought process or why they do the things they do and say the things they say is kind of never going to yield any results, other than the disappointing results below...
What are they thinking? He says he cares but then he acts like a dickbag? That's because he does care, but him caring doesn't mean that that characteristic of caring will control his personality or the way he acts.
In other words, does caring mean that they will act a certain way? No. Can someone both care and still act in a way that seems inconsistent with caring to you? Yes. How so? Because the characteristic of caring doesn't come close to trumping personality. Also, what “caring” means to you is different than what it means to him. Caring to him is just the base emotion. Yeah, he feels it. Caring to you is consideration, empathy, thinking of other people before acting.
What I mean is that you are never, ever going to change someone's personality. If their personality is going to change at all, it has to be by their will. All you can do to attempt a change is to say to that someone, "I recognize that your personality is such that it does not occur to you to treat me this certain way, but as a favor to me, for the rest of our lives, please do your best and put forth a proactive effort to fake acting this way for me, when it appears appropriate, by pretending to care using my definition of the word and then acting accordingly.”
But say it in a way that sounds human, obviously.
That's about all you can do.
You can't change people, but you can ask them to fake it.
My point is that you asked the question, “Do they realize that yes sometime the things they do really actually affect someone else?” My answer is, “Yes, they do, but only in the sense that yes they realize that their actions affect other people practically, but no, they do NOT in any way analyze the situations as both you and I have done here. We analyzed it completely. We CARE, using your definition of the word. They don’t. They won’t even analyze it for half a second. But they do care under their definition.”
This is just my opinion.
In everything I wrote above, the word/phrase “care” or “caring” means the entire concept and full breadth of the idea you were writing about in the blog.
Feel free to reply with any sort of comment and I’ll reply back. I’ll try to explain all this the best I can if you’re still wanting to know why etc and think I might be to some degree right.
I do understand your point. I'm not trying to change someone though, if thats's the way it came of. I was already scatter-brained because of what happened so I was just putting pen to paper to vent it out. I don't really have any intention of trying to make someone their not or make them seem fake around me. Alot has changed since I wrote that any how. But from an outsider's perspective, you're right to a degree. You hit some points that I never considered so much. I mean in a way thats put bluntly, I should say.
That sounds good. The original blog entry sounded somewhat personal, so I wasn't even sure if I could accurately comment on the situation without knowing the people involved.
You didn't come off as wanting to change anyone. That's why I brought up the changing part. You came off as simply wanting to understand 'why' this hypothetical person acts the way s/he acts.
I suppose one of my central points was that, once you analyze and understand why, then can that knowledge be used to help the situation? I don’t think so. Knowing why someone is inconsiderate is about the end of it. That's why I brought up the alternative: asking them to act differently as a favor to you.
Realistically I wouldn't ever expect anyone to ask anyone else to do that. I wouldn't ever ask that of anyone. I would just stop talking/defriend/breakup/disown/kill that person. The implication there is that there is really just nothing you can do. Understanding doesn’t change that. Time to think about something else. Time to put your considerate and smart brain to a better use, because this analyze goes no where.
And that was the purpose of my reply.
The bluntness is a result of me breaking it down further than this subject should be broken down, in order to keep my replies short. Every generalization and absolute statement I’ve made, of course, has exceptions.
Both of the sentences saying "Time to etc..." came out way wrong. I didn't mean them to sound like orders or commands. I just meant them in the abstract, and not personally telling you/anyone to think about certain things. I wouldn't ever tell someone that.
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