He said 'give me something quick and sweet my whole life I've lived on the street'. (Day 192)

Band - Matt Skiba

Song - The City That Day

Album - Matt Skiba/Kevin Seconds split.






Last night I reconnected with someone I hadn't talked to in a long time. It was really awesome to play catch up with someone who was such a great friend.

It's been two years since her and I last talked. While she's still very much the same person I knew in High School, I've definitely noticed a change inside of her. She used to be an extremely shy and introverted person, who if somehow you got to know her you'd realize was more fun than 95% of the people you'd ever meet. She's funny, smart and extremely ambitious.

For the first time in God knows how long, I was not only excited like I used to get, but just all around happy. I never realized, and I guess I either forgot or I didn't realize it at the time, but we have a lot of things in common.

One thing that I had no idea how much I'd missed was her laugh. She has one of the all time greatest laughs I've ever heard.

You can tell a lot about a person in the way they laugh. Either they seem insecure, or are over doing it, faking it or are just insincere. If you pay attention, you can actually find those things about a person when they're laughing. But then there are those whom when they laugh, it's uninhibited and genuine.

I think everything about her is genuine. That's something I'd always regarded her as, and catching up with her last night I realized how much I'd wished we'd never fallen out of contact. It's not like we've ever had a falling out, or ended on bad terms, either. One person goes right and the other goes left and that person just becomes some sort of distant pinnacle you overlook because you get so entranced by what's currently going on in your life.

We used to talk for hours.

Last night we wound up talking on the phone, and it was like no time had passed. One moment it was fairly early in the evening, and the next thing I knew...the sun was coming up.

I have trouble trusting people. Even the closest people in my life, I build up a certain wall that I'm not willing to tamper with.

But I find myself at ease and comfortable with her, because I see a lot of similarities between us.

She leaves for school in six weeks. She's getting her masters at a college in Northern Arizona. Talking to her last night, I got the impression that she could be someone very important in my life, and I don't really want to ever fall out of contact with her again. I'm willing to put forth an effort to keep her in my life this time, because I had no idea how much I'd really missed her.

I'm damned proud of her.

I hope she doesn't find me at all creepy, and usually I don't care what people think of me. It's just something about her that's almost magnetic. Maybe time in Oregon changed that about her. Knowing she's leaving kind of bums me out, because I wonder when she leaves this time...will I ever see her again? That's how life is sometimes.

So for the next six weeks I really want to get to know her again, and discover the new her as well.

Not many people can make me smile sincerely, and I was shocked that she did it without even realizing it.

I'm off to bed. I hope you're doing okay.

P.S: Ryan, buddy, if you read this...I miss you man. Get in touch with me. I want to know if you're doing okay. I hope you're safe and happy.


-Until tomorrow.